September 28, 2006
The Year of 30
This past year has been something. It really has been good, for the most part. I started to get my act together, as far as reigning in my loneliness and overcoming the obstacles of my family relationships. I learned a lot about acceptance - of both people and situations. I learned that I am good at making friends. I learned that women I like and respect feel the same way about me.
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I learned that new friends can quickly become as close as old friends, and in rare instances - closer. I learned to accept that people really do like me, just the way I am. Even if they know I could be better. I learned that those who don't accept love from me aren't going to, no matter how hard I try. And that the harder I try, the more I will hurt for their failure to accept me. Their failure. Not mine. What a liberating thought!
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I learned just this week that forgiveness is really worth it. That no matter how hard it is to forgive, that other person eventually will get it. I learned that if I work at it, I can accomplish anything. But it takes perseverence. I learned that I need a little more perseverence in regards to some things.
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I learned that when I lean on my faith daily, my life goes more smoothly. I learned that when I thank God for each small blessing, I am better able to see the bigger blessings when they come. I learned that my soul needs regular nourishing. That my moms group in Lakeland was a pure gift from God. That without them, without that weekly nourishing, I'm finding it difficult to get through the weeks. I learned that I need to be someplace where I have that support regularly. And I'm responsible for creating that environment if it isn't where I go.
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I learned that some friends will let go of you, even though you've tried your best. I learned that it's okay to feel broken-hearted when that happens. I have also learned that some friends will do anything for you, even snoop around vacant houses - or invite you into their home.
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I learned that my husband and I are an incredible team. And the work is worth the payout every single time. I learned that my husband is in high demand, but his happiness and success ensure the happiness and success of our family.
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I learned that my kids are just incredible people. They are amazing gifts that God has entrusted to our care. I learned that their happiness and stability is one of the single most important goals of my life. I learned that if God calls me, I am willing to homeschool them for many years to come. I learned that they bring me more joy than any other person on the planet.
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I learned that my family means so much to me. That without them, my life would be empty and God-less.
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I learned that I have so much to learn. And that I will gladly learn it. Most of all, I learned that 30 isn't so old, after all. And I look forward to being 40 and then 50. And by then, God willing, my list of things I've learned will be even greater.
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I typed this post the night before my birthday. And here I am, almost after my birthday, finally readying it for posting. Today was strange. Not bad, but almost twilight zone-ish. This morning I woke up later than my recent usual and when Bookworm came out, she sounded worse. I spent only 25 minutes on the phone before getting her an appointment with a new pediatrician (something I should do right when I move, but it somehow never gets done until we need to go to the doctor). I had to rush to get her there on time, but I am not complaining, since we were able to be seen right away in the morning. It turns out she has atypical pneumonia, localized to the lower lobe of her right lung. We pray it is bacterial and that the antibiotic nips it quickly. It isn't a terrible case, thank God. But it's enough to cause concern and possibly affect our going-out-of-town plans for the weekend. We will see in the morning how she's doing and determine if we can go.
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I also learned that birthdays don't really matter as you get older. The kids get a kick out of singing to you and making you blow out a candle, but the rest of the day is pretty much like any other day. Well, except when a friend's child is also sick and has an unexpected afternoon free and you meet at your house to give doses of medicine and then take the kids with you out to lunch and then a short walk in the shopping center. So, yeah, weird day. But strangely nice, in spite of the whole sick kids thing.
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Have a fabulous weekend. I pray we will. God Bless you.
Geography Meme
I was tagged by Another Catholic Mom and while I don't normally actually "follow the crowd", I don't have much else to say and I thought this was interesting.
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1. A Place You've Visited and Your Favorite Thing there.
It's funny that Another Catholic Mom would choose one of my favorite places. But my favorite thing at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris was the service each Lenten Friday, venerating The Crown of Thorns. My visit to Paris happened to be during Lent and though I didn't understand the words spoken during the service, I was moved to tears and was able to kiss the encasement of the crown.
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2. A Country You'd Like to Visit and Why
Italy. I would love to visit all the historic places where saints lived. (I know there are saints from other countries, too). I would be humbled to go to the Vatican and pray in a place where many before me have prayed. I would love to see the countryside and interesting places like Venice and Assisi and Milan and Capri. Visit all the churches, most of which are older than our COUNTRY. Wine country. The coast. The cities. A month would be about enough time to spend. :)
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3. A Place From History You'd Like to Visit and Why In Bethlehem, just over 2000 years ago. I'd like to be the Innkeeper's wife and insist that Mary and Joseph take our room for the night. (Though I realize this would ridiculously change the whole nativity story. And well, God's will certainly happened anyway, but someone should have shown them better hospitality.)
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4. A Place You Know a Lot About
My mind. 20 years of therapy can do that for a person. Oh, wait, I just remembered this was supposed to be about geography... I know a lot about Tampa Bay, I know a lot about Ohio (history-wise, not current happenings).
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5. A Place You'd Like to Learn More About
France
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6. A Fictional Place You'd Like to Visit
Narnia. I'd really like to have a romp on Aslan's back, my face and hands buried in his mane.
September 27, 2006
Look-a-Like
Thanks to Susan Godfrey, for this bit of fun.
September 26, 2006
Update: Boring Life Stuff
COLDS
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Well, this cold isn't being shaken in our house. Poor little Bookworm has been fighting it for days and has spent the last two days feverish and slightly lethargic. I am not better - or rather, I seem to be getting better, but then I get worse again. My ears are bothering me and I'm fatigued and grumpy. I have been having a hard time sleeping at night, but I'm resisting naptime during the day. I'd really like to get back to sleeping at night, so napping during the day seems like a bad idea. Instead, I'm walking around in a haze most of the time.
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MOVERS
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The movers are bringing the piano, gym and freezer this week. So, we're broke. :) It is costing a pretty penny to have these items moved from Husband's parents' house in FL to our home here. But it's still infinitely cheaper than buying new ones - and less than if we'd rented a truck and moved everything ourselves. It will be nice when the girls can practice their piano lessons on a piano and not use the pink plastic keyboard Silly Sally got for her birthday. The piano is a gift from the grandparents. It was used by Husband's mom to give lessons when her children were young. The freezer and gym have been stored in their garage since we moved to Atlanta 3 years ago. Finally, we are moving out of our parents' house! The only things we have left there are Husband's art books in the closet and some baby things in the attic. We'll likely get rid of the rest of the baby things when we visit for Thanksgiving.
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JOB
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No news yet on the job front. We're hoping to know something in the next week. We're cool either way things go: the nice thing is if we go, we can probably stay for a while - years!; and if we stay, we're happy with that too. So, we're just hoping news comes soon so we can either get on with things here or get on with planning a move there.
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We're good, other than the illness swirling through our heads. Until next time, I'm praying that God will bless you abundantly this fall.
September 21, 2006
The Stress Begins Again
I appreciate all the prayers, they are definitely helping with my attitude. I suppose I can tell you a little about what's going on. I did get a couple emails and phone calls and a few of you guessed correctly what was going on, though I can't believe you were able to guess when I felt like a brick wall fell through the ceiling and landed in my lap. Because that is exactly how unexpected this thing is in our lives.
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Nothing certain yet, because the details haven't been worked out, but it seems we will be moving again. Much much sooner than the 2 years we'd thought/planned. Likely before Thanksgiving if we can find a place and work things out here to get out of our lease.
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We were initially shell-shocked they'd even ask. Particularly since we really like it here and we've just about gotten settled (I even started ordering window treatments, just 4 days ago). We joined a homeschool group that is simply incredible. We have been enjoying time with some friends here and getting to know Cara's parents. The girls are taking piano lessons and just had their first recital, they're in a girls club and some co-op classes. We just had our photos taken for the pictorial directory for our church. We've planted flowers and painted rooms and all sorts of stuff in the house. We love our neighborhood and we love our house. We're happy here. We want to stay a while. But....
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There is some good news in here. It would be technically a lateral move for Husband, but in a better location and much more visable to the corporate folks. And bigger impact financially for the company. It is in a city that we love and we swore when we left it, we would move back in a heartbeat. We have lots of friends in the greater Metro area. And our friends here wouldn't be too far away. It's still doable as far as driving to see our family in Florida - I should know, since I did it 7 times in 2004. And did I mention the job is in the city we think of as our second home? Only second to Tampa Bay, where our parents live...
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Like I said, there are details to be worked out, but it sounds like the powers-that-be in the corporate world want this to happen. Husband happens to be a turn-it-around kinda guy and that's just what is needed there. So, I'm freaking out over the prospect of moving again and doing all the work so soon. Finding a house, organizing the move and then unpacking once we're on the back end. And we're looking at this happening before Christmas?
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Are we freaking crazy!?!
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Maybe just suckers.
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Like I said, though, none of this is certain yet. Nothing is in writing and like we learned last time, things don't always happen the way you expect.
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I swear I am not going to say anything about this move. Because when we moved here this summer, I said over and over how easy it all went. How we got unpacked so quickly, how smoothly the move went - not one item damaged, no major hiccups in the schedule, etc... I am being force-fed those words this week.
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I'll keep you posted. But we may not know anything for a couple weeks. I hate the waiting.
September 19, 2006
Helplessness
I won't go into it now, but today I had a hard pill to swallow.
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Yesterday, I told someone that when you don't feel like you can trust yourself, you can always trust God. It isn't that I'm not trusting myself right now, but I am definitely not trusting the world and the things that are specifically going on in MY world right now.
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And today I am reminded that it is difficult to lean on God when you are feeling completely helpless.
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You could pray for our family right now, if you are so inclined.
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God Bless you.
September 18, 2006
Monday morning
I've been awake for hours. Usually when I do this (wake up at ridiculous times, completely unable to fall back to sleep), I pray.
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This morning, I prayed for Amy. And Julia. And some others, who drifted into my subconscious during the quiet dark hours before the sun. Actually, the sun still hasn't begun to lighten my windows this morning.... .
After about an hour, I got out of bed, curious of the time and since it was 5:30, I decided I might as well get up. I miss having this morning quiet time. I said morning prayers and spent some time quietly (didn't want to wake the rest of the family) singing a song that keeps playing in my head.
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And then I began my morning drive, as Sandra calls it. It was on my rounds that I came across this autumn contest by bluebird blogs and entered myself for a blog redesign. And I thought I'd share it with you, even though in sharing, I will have more competition to win. :) .
I think I may make some muffins for my family, since I still have about 45 minutes until anyone gets up.
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UPDATE: Muffins taste best when they are taken from the oven before being slightly overdone, so set the timer or don't lay in bed with your husband chatting while they're in the oven.
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I altered a recipe for the muffins. They tasted great, even though the bottoms were dark from too much chat-time. Here's what I made:
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Strawberry-Banana Muffins
preheat oven to 425 degrees. Grease muffin tin or use paper liners (I spray with canola)
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about 1 cup whole strawberries
1 medium banana
2/3 c. sugar
less than 1/3 c. oil (I used about 1/4 c. canola oil, even though the recipe called for 1/3 c.)
2 eggs
1 1/2 c. flour (I used 1/2 c. all-purpose and 1 c. whole wheat)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
In a large bowl, smash the strawberries and banana (I used a Pampered Chef food chopper), then add the next three ingredients. Stir until well-blended. Add dry ingredients and stir. Fill muffin cups about 2/3 full and bake for 15-18 minutes (23 if you want that extra cuddle time and don't mind dark muffin bottoms). Bon Appetit!
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Have a blessed day.
September 16, 2006
At the risk of falling into my previous trap of hating my blog content, I am just going to take a moment to tell you that I've been sick with a terrible headcold and overwhelmed with the start of school. And the girls' first piano recital. And keeping a big house clean (or rather just overwhelmed with the idea of getting it clean after a week of not working on it). And unpacking those last few boxes. And and and......
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I'm definitely getting older. This past week made me feel like I really am almost 31. 13 more days of clinging to 30.
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Can you believe someone was surprised today that I am so "young"!??!
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Good gracious, I better get back on track. And I'd better start wearing make-up every day again.
September 13, 2006
Works-for-Me Wednesday: K12
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We homeschool. And last year was rough. Not as far as schooling goes, because I was rather laid back about it. But there was a lot of major change in our family and I had a significant emotional set-back in August, which wasn't really a good way to start off a new school year. As we went through the school year, my emotional state improved, but I never really got on track with structured schooling.
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In spite of this, Bookworm went from not reading well to reading above 4th grade level by the end of the school year. Also, she finished the year with math on par above level. Still, Husband felt she needed more structure. I really am not a structured person, so I knew it would be impossible for me to independently give her what he wanted. We had decided on enrolling her in a public virtual school, which would allow her to go at her own pace at home, but her education would be directed by a "real" teacher. I would still be her primary teacher, but more like a teacher's assistant (doing whatever the teacher said to do). Even though I wasn't comfortable planning a day, I could certainly follow instructions, so this would be a perfect compromise. Alas, we moved to another state that does not offer this kind of school.
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But the curriculum is available for homeschoolers. And yes, it is expensive, particularly when you factor in the cost of the monthly online support. But it is more than worth it. We are only using Language Arts and Math this year, since we are also in a co-op that has some other subjects in class once/week. .
We sit down to do school work and we're having so much fun that we don't even realize that hours go by and we haven't felt like throwing our hands in the air. The K12 program has online support and for each lesson, the online program walks you right through each component of the lesson. It is wonderful! Very little planning on my part (other than the other subjects) and we love the variety in the lessons.
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K12, it works for me!
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For more Works-for-Me Wednesday tips, see Shannon over at Rocks In My Dryer.
September 12, 2006
FYI
New posts over at my homeschool blog.
September 11, 2006
In Memory and Honor of Alicia Acevedo Carranza
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(this is the quilt square created in memory of Alicia by one of thousands of volunteers for this incredible non-profit organization: United In Memory) .
In my attempts to" build" an accurate and personalized memorial, I failed to find much personal information about Alicia Acevedo Carranza. I learned only that she left her home in Teziutlan, Puebla, Mexico to find a better life in the United States. I learned that she was loved by her fellow students in Mexico, and that she befriended at least one who came there to study from a Central American country. I don’t know how old she was, if she had siblings or a boyfriend or husband...
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But I do know this: Alicia was a beloved daughter. Her life brought light and love to a family. Her smile warmed hearts. Her laughter brought joy. She sought adventure in a big city, she wanted a better life for herself and for her family. She may have sent her family in Mexico the money she earned working in New York. Someone said she had an "angelic face, compassionate mind and a free spirit." She touched the hearts of many. She was a friend. Someone that others loved and appreciated, and still mourn.
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Unfortunately for those who loved her, and those who knew her, her life was cut short at the hands of extremists. That Tuesday morning, she was on time to work - already at her desk? perhaps cleaning the floors? maybe cooking food in the cafeteria? on the phone as a customer service rep? We may never know what she was doing at the World Trade Center that morning when the planes hit.
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But her life mattered. Alicia mattered. And on this day, five years after her death, I want to honor her life. Her unknowing sacrifice has impacted the world. You can see how many people have left tribute messages here and here. People who have never met Alicia, and some who may have known her before she came to America seeking a better life.
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Our country is indebted to you, Alicia, and all those who died alongside you on that fateful day. September 11, 2001 is a day that will live in infamy.
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On this fifth anniversary of the tragedy that took Alicia home to the Lord, I just want to extend my personal condolences to her family and friends. While Alicia came to America to make a life for herself, you can be certain that your daughter and friend has found paradise with God.
Alicia, you will not be forgotten. . 
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For memorials on all 2,996 who were lost that dark September 5 years ago, please visit this website. .
FYI: Becca remembers Jerry DeVito on her site, which is not password protected for this important project.
September 08, 2006
September 11, 2001
September 11, 2001
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I was sitting on the living room floor, playing with yet-to-be-Bookworm (who’d just turned one) and cuddling Jessie for her morning bottle. (Jessie was a baby that I cared for during the first year I was home.) I usually had The Today Show on in the background, so I could watch the news in the morning during breakfast time with the girls. I was 9 weeks pregnant with Silly Sally.
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So, that morning started just like the others, Jessie had just arrived and the three of us were on the floor. I had the tv on mute but I noticed that the shot on the screen wasn’t changing. I looked up and realized that a building was burning in a big city. I turned up the volume and realized I was looking at a picture of the World Trade Center. I sat there and asked Bookworm how the building had caught fire like that when they said there’d been a plane crash. I wondered how a pilot managed to crash right into t skyscraper on a day that weather didn’t seem to be an issue. Was the plane on autopilot and it had gone greatly askew?
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As I sat there, my eyes glued to the screen, my arms weighted by two babies, I watched in shock as they showed footage of the plane hitting the tower. Then I realized that what I’d been watching wasn’t a "replay" of the original crash. I had just watched live as a second plane hit the other tower. I was horrified! My mind was racing, wondering what was happening that these planes were crashing into these prominent buildings. .
I had no idea what would come later in the morning. I tried to call my husband, but couldn’t get through. I called my mother-in-law to make sure they knew what was going on. I found out my father-in-law had gone to make the final payment on his daughter’s wedding reception that was to be held that Saturday at my husband’s hotel. I know they watched together, standing in the hotel lounge as one of the towers collapsed.
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Then came the view of the Pentagon, after a third plane crashed into a section of that building. And then the news that a fourth plane had also been hijacked. At the time, we were living near a major military base and Husband worked near a major airport, even closer to the base than where we lived. I was panicked about what was happening in our country. We were clearly being attacked. Noone seemed to know why or where the next target may be.
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The phone lines were jammed, so I couldn’t reach anyone, though I finally got hold of Jessie’s mom and told her not to worry about her daughter. Thoughts of my sister-in-law’s impending wedding ran through my head. Would they be able to come for their own wedding? Would the other guests be able to travel?
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I worried about my daughter and the child within me. If these were the things that were happening in our country today, were we even safe anymore?
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It was an emotionally wretched day for me, and I had noone in those buildings that I knew personally or loved. I continue to pray for those families affected by the events of September 11, 2001. I think Shannon said it well when she referred to the unity of our country following this tragedy. .
It is a day that I will never forget.
September 07, 2006
I thought this was neat
September 06, 2006
Works-for-Me Wednesday
My Dymo Labelmaker.
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This little gadget has me so happy lately. I've labeled the kids' school notebooks, the pantry tupperware storage, the edges of the school cabinet shelves...
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I bought it on sale at Targ*t and in one month, I've managed to burn through almost an entire cartridge of label tape. I like it because it helps me know what dry goods are in each container in the pantry; the girls know right where thier things are in the school cabinet; I've even labeled the bins of yet-to-grow-into clothes and those that are ready-to-be-consigned-or-handed-down in the top of the girls' closet. 
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The night I got it, I was up late, making labels and organizing in my kitchen. Yes, my husband thought I was a major dork. And, yes, that is probably true. But I am constantly thinking of things that I can label to make my life just a bit more organized - I'm thinking an overhaul of my craft supply storage is in order next month.
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Dymo, it works for me!
September 04, 2006
Moms for Modesty
You may have noticed my new little button over there to the left. You might even wonder what it's about. If you've read my blog for any time, you know I'm not really up on the blinkies and tags and even cute buttons. I don't post political statements or spout off about religion. Part of that is that I live life as I feel is best for my family, not because I think it is the best way for everyone. And some of my convictions lead others to assume that since I am so right-wing, I must be like the crazies who judge others. And, well, that just isn't true. I believe this world would be rather boring, albeit safe, if everyone were exactly like me.
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But in my quest to be more real in blogging, I've decided that I will start opening up about my thoughts. Call it "Deep Thoughts, by Seeking Woman", if you will. You know, like Jack Handey, only I'm not quite so witty and profound.
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So, this whole Modesty thing. Yeah, it bothers me that I can't buy jeans for my girls that don't expose their cracks, for the low-waist-edness. It bothers me that there are words across the chest- or bottom- that I find offensive in regards to little girls. Tight tanks, teeny bikinis....
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My kids do have some halter tops, they each have a peasant dress that ties around their neck, halter-style. But I wore halters when I was a girl, and I certainly didn't look provocative. I remember always wearing those jumpers that tied over each shoulder and had elastic on each leg. I remember begging my mom to let me wear something less baby-ish. My girls look stylish with their scooters and t-shirts, their cute sandals (the only part of their wardrobe they get to choose on their own is shoes, with only a few vetoes from mom at time of purchase).
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When we go to church, the girls want to wear their pretty summer dresses, but if it is sleeveless, they must wear a sweater over top. No bare shoulders in church, at least not in my family.
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I'm not a mom who thinks modesty requires complete covering up. But I agree that those who design and market girls' clothes need to stop producing items that make little girls look like teenagers-in-training. Little girls are little girls. And they should look like little girls. Sooner than we're really comfortable with, they will be all grown up and making their own choices about clothing - and what have we taught them if we dress them provocatively from a young age?
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I personally want my girls to know they are beautiful because of their minds, because they rely on wit and intelligence to attract others. Are they beautiful physically? Sure! But that is tertiary to what is in their hearts and in their minds.
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Moms for Modesty Mission Statement
*As a Mom for Modesty I believe in common-sense modesty for girls and young women.
*I believe in refraining from sexualizing our girls and young women.
*I believe that it is unwise and unfair to taunt boys and young men by permitting my daughters to dress in an immodest manner.
*I believe that true beauty comes from within and I strive to teach my daughters this truth.
*I will loyally shop at retailers that provide girls' and young womens clothing that is modest, affordable and stylish.
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If this is something you want to know more about, you can go here and read what got this whole iconversation going. If you feel so inclined, add your comments to the post. Even better, show your support by adding the button to your own web space. If you don't agree, that's okay too, let's just keep comments respectful.
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God Bless you.
September 03, 2006
The PinaTa
As I was dragged through the store, I felt something tear... I was being crushed, pulled apart near my lower extremity... Pieces of me, my beautiful ribbons, were carelessly scooped off the floor and wadded into a strong fist in frustration. I was tossed, along with other supplies for a party, upon the counter to be paid for. The buyer didn't realize he'd broken me before I was even purchased.
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I was ruthlessly shoved into a confining plastic bag and again tossed, this time into a hot furnace-like box, only to be jostled for about 25 miles. At our destination, I was taken into a cool place, yet I was left to suffocate in that plastic mummy-like chamber until the sun rose the next morning.
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A woman came in and carefully took me out of my confinement, and realized I was broken. She began shouting, but how could I explain the fault was not my own? I heard that strong man saying "Who the hell ever heard of a PULL-THE-RIBBON PINATA?! What is that anyway?!"
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I was carefully placed on a nice soft bed, but the woman walked away. A few minutes later, the man (who has, by this point, proven he is a dummy since he'd never heard of a pull-the-ribbon pinata AND he apparently left a whole case of beer in a cooler with water for two weeks and the bottle caps were all rusted. Who does that?) came in and roughly picked me up and then started shoving candy up my wazoo. He kept doing it - as if pulling my ribbons out weren't bad enough, he felt it necessary to assault me yet again. Then, he shoved a piece of cardboard in, to try to patch up the hole. And then the nice, hardworking woman came in to tape me up.
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Moments later, I heard loud noises coming from the other room. I lay there, on the floor next to that soft bed, waiting to know what would happen next to me. I nearly cringed each time I heard footsteps, weary of that mean man... I heard lots of talking, and lots of laughing children. The smells wafted in and I thought they must be having a picnic feast. More and more voices, as the room filled next door. After a while, the chattering quieted while a girl was obviously enjoying her gifts - and what a reader! She wanted to make sure each person in the room heard what each card said.
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Then there was cake and ice cream. I started shaking, knowing that man was going to come back soon. And he did. He grabbed me and stealthily slipped out the back door. He tried to find a spot in a tree for me, but it just wasn't going to happen that way. His life (-giving abilities) would be endangered since he had to hold me on the end of a shower curtain rod.
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Those kids were brutal, whacking at me with a broomstick over and over. Each time, the cardboard patch was jarred and a piece of that blasted candy fell out - you can imagine my humiliation at this public display of incontinence. Those kids screamed so loud each time a piece of candy fell, you would have thought the house caught fire. Finally, the woman - in her infinite wisdom - insisted that the birthday girl pull all the remaining ribbons in order to end my suffering. And man, when I lost my load, those kids went wild! Even the neighbor was laughing from his yard.
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After that, the kids scrambled to get the candy from the ground and I was picked up in pieces and taken to the garbage can. Soon after, I heard car after car fill up with children and then drive away from the house. It was a ridiculously exhausting 24 hours.
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At least the birthday girl thought it was a great party.
