This past year has been something. It really has been good, for the most part. I started to get my act together, as far as reigning in my loneliness and overcoming the obstacles of my family relationships. I learned a lot about acceptance - of both people and situations. I learned that I am good at making friends. I learned that women I like and respect feel the same way about me.
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I learned that new friends can quickly become as close as old friends, and in rare instances - closer. I learned to accept that people really do like me, just the way I am. Even if they know I could be better. I learned that those who don't accept love from me aren't going to, no matter how hard I try. And that the harder I try, the more I will hurt for their failure to accept me. Their failure. Not mine. What a liberating thought!
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I learned just this week that forgiveness is really worth it. That no matter how hard it is to forgive, that other person eventually will get it. I learned that if I work at it, I can accomplish anything. But it takes perseverence. I learned that I need a little more perseverence in regards to some things.
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I learned that when I lean on my faith daily, my life goes more smoothly. I learned that when I thank God for each small blessing, I am better able to see the bigger blessings when they come. I learned that my soul needs regular nourishing. That my moms group in Lakeland was a pure gift from God. That without them, without that weekly nourishing, I'm finding it difficult to get through the weeks. I learned that I need to be someplace where I have that support regularly. And I'm responsible for creating that environment if it isn't where I go.
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I learned that some friends will let go of you, even though you've tried your best. I learned that it's okay to feel broken-hearted when that happens. I have also learned that some friends will do anything for you, even snoop around vacant houses - or invite you into their home.
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I learned that my husband and I are an incredible team. And the work is worth the payout every single time. I learned that my husband is in high demand, but his happiness and success ensure the happiness and success of our family.
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I learned that my kids are just incredible people. They are amazing gifts that God has entrusted to our care. I learned that their happiness and stability is one of the single most important goals of my life. I learned that if God calls me, I am willing to homeschool them for many years to come. I learned that they bring me more joy than any other person on the planet.
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I learned that my family means so much to me. That without them, my life would be empty and God-less.
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I learned that I have so much to learn. And that I will gladly learn it. Most of all, I learned that 30 isn't so old, after all. And I look forward to being 40 and then 50. And by then, God willing, my list of things I've learned will be even greater.
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I typed this post the night before my birthday. And here I am, almost after my birthday, finally readying it for posting. Today was strange. Not bad, but almost twilight zone-ish. This morning I woke up later than my recent usual and when Bookworm came out, she sounded worse. I spent only 25 minutes on the phone before getting her an appointment with a new pediatrician (something I should do right when I move, but it somehow never gets done until we need to go to the doctor). I had to rush to get her there on time, but I am not complaining, since we were able to be seen right away in the morning. It turns out she has atypical pneumonia, localized to the lower lobe of her right lung. We pray it is bacterial and that the antibiotic nips it quickly. It isn't a terrible case, thank God. But it's enough to cause concern and possibly affect our going-out-of-town plans for the weekend. We will see in the morning how she's doing and determine if we can go.
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I also learned that birthdays don't really matter as you get older. The kids get a kick out of singing to you and making you blow out a candle, but the rest of the day is pretty much like any other day. Well, except when a friend's child is also sick and has an unexpected afternoon free and you meet at your house to give doses of medicine and then take the kids with you out to lunch and then a short walk in the shopping center. So, yeah, weird day. But strangely nice, in spite of the whole sick kids thing.
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Have a fabulous weekend. I pray we will. God Bless you.
