January 19, 2009
Abandoned
Yep, I did NaNoBloPoMo and then abruptly stopped posting altogether. There is not a lot I can say to explain myself. I had a lot going on through December with the holidays and some personal things that I cannot talk about here that prevented me from taking the time to post something.
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This morning, as I lie in bed cozied up with my 8 1/2 year old daughter, snow falling outside the window, I thought I'd try typing something up here on seeking grace. I still don't quite know what to say, but I will say this:
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God has been using these past couple months to work on my heart and work on my soul in ways I didn't think needed working on. A relationship severed (not by my own hand) and it broke my heart in a familiar, but unexpected way. This has forced me to spend a great deal of time of introspection. Also, I've had to admit that I don't know how to cope with the mechanics of this particular relationship. I've sought guidance and prayer from our pastor, a good friend of ours; I've spent a lot of time praying for an answer and discernment for God's will; and I've just plain thrown myself and my energies into building what is in front of me.
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God has been abundantly gracious. I have never lived in a place where I felt constantly ministered to by each of our friends. Sure, I have some excellent friends in the various places we've lived, and I think if we'd stayed in middle Georgia longer, we may have had this all the time (hi, Cara! Your family was the one that we felt completely comfortable around and we could just relax and have a good time every single time we were together - not to even mention how cared for we felt with your family.), but this past weekend is an example of how awesome it is here.
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Friday morning, we went to church for Children's Adoration, a time of prayer and praise in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Husband led the music (his public guitar debut!) and this is typically my favorite half hour of the entire month. I was not disappointed. The second-graders from our parish school joined in with the homeschooled students and our pastor did another excellent job in leading us through a time of worship. Lunch with another mom and her kids at their house (and we had beer! so unlike us to drink at lunch, but it was one beer each and it just had the effect of making it seem like the weekend earlier.) That evening found the girls and me back at church for our weekly hour of adoration.
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Saturday evening, we dropped off cakes for the next day's meal for the homeless before heading to a friend's for a dinner/information meeting. The evening was with two couples who happen to be good friends of ours. We talked some about "business", but mostly had a nice time with friends. Sunday found us at church in the morning for prayer group, then mass and afterward we went out to brunch with a group of 21 (4 families) to hear the musical stylings of a young man who we know (and he teaches piano to the boys in two of the families), and to celebrate one friend's birthday. Last night found us at another friend's house for dinner with them, another family and our pastor (and to watch football). We left at nearly midnight and on the 2 minute drive home, my husband and I exclaimed that we have never had such an abundance of friends who feed our soul every time we are with them.
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And it's true. Even though we miss our friends and family in other states, we have never been ministered to the way we have been here by such a large community. And I know when I think of the relationship that still needs some resolution, that God placed us here at this particular time in order to lift me up in the way I need in order to successfully sort through it all. And for that I'm grateful.
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Until next time (hopefully sooner than later), God Bless you.
Posts written by humble servant
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