May 30, 2006
Simmering.... That is what this feels like. Surrounded by misery and sadness. My own sadness pales in comparison. My happiness is paled as well.
.
How can I even begin to talk about the mundane things in my life when two friends are struggling and on the verge of separation and even worse, one friend is mourning the loss of her husband?
.
Maybe after tomorrow's funeral, I will better be able to compose some thoughts. But for now, I have to get laundry done so my husband can pack to leave our current home for the final time in less than 48 hours.
.
God Bless you.
May 24, 2006
I thought my heart was broken before....
But it was nothing like it is now.
.
I just got a phone call and one of my friends has died. He was young - only 36.
.
And I can't know what this feels like for his wife and two young children.
.
God Bless them all, hold them close and comfort them.
Exhausted... Blessed
Listening is exhausting. :) And admitting you have no idea what the answer could be is humbling.
.
So, I'm exhausted and humbled.
.
And grateful for my marriage. For my husband. For our families. For the support we have. For the level heads on our shoulders. For my husband's career opportunities. For our loving family. Grateful for God's abundant blessings - and that the more we turn to him, the more blessed we are. Grateful for our therapist and the years of hard work we've done under her guidance to build a solid relationship - solid in its trust, in its neverending love, in the communication it requires, in its commitment, in the endless support we offer one another.
.
I am grateful for my children. They are a great source of joy for me. They soothe my sad soul, they renew my heart. They put smiles on my face and giggles upon my lips. I am so grateful for their hugs, their smiles, their presence.
.
I am ever grateful for the friends I have, who hold me up in thoughts and prayers, who offer a listening ear, who fold my laundry when I'm injured and losing my mind, for the hugs, the emails, the phone calls... I am grateful for the well wishes and the thoughtfulness and the encouragement.
.
In my exhaustion and humility, I find I am completely grateful for the people in my life.
.
I am blessed.
May 22, 2006
Broken-Hearted *edited*
We had a busy and fruitful weekend. We had lots of fun. We got lots of stuff accomplished. But there was one thing....
.
A phone call from a friend who hadn't slept all night. A phone call that contained a zinger that permits me to finally support her decision to divorce her husband. She's been crazy that I refuse to support her in her decision, but the events of the weekend produced some facts that sadly make the marriage unsalvageable, even from my rose-colored glasses viewpoint.
.
It makes me sad. This will affect not only our closest family friends and their children, but it will affect my children and my husband and me. I am broken hearted for our friends.
.
I won't share details, as they aren't my details to share. But I will ask for any of you that pray to please pray for my friends and their children. And throw in a couple for my family as well, if you have an extra moment, please.
.
***edited to add: We found out today that we were right in our guess about the third potential location that "might come available". And it weighs on our hearts that it didn't work out for us - they were able to convince the guy who was leaving Baltimore to stay with the company, but he gets the location we dreamed of. We're not bitter - great for him! And great for the company to retain such a good GM. But, we'd be lying if we said we weren't disappointed he took it.***
.
God Bless you.
May 19, 2006
Back at the Station
Somehow this crazy coaster has come to a stop.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Right where we originally wanted it to stop. We're going to Georgia!
May 18, 2006
Yet another loop in the coaster
Can you believe that the first meeting of the day included the following statement?!?!?!:
.
Wait a week to make a decision because something in the southeast is about to become available.
.
Aw, heck! Although, if it is the location that we suspect... JACKPOT! It is only 3 hours from our family and a BEEAUTIFUL area and the job would be in an incredible location.
.
But for now, we are excited at some of the possible by-products of a relo to Baltimore.
.
Now, we just wait and pray.
.
And thank God that the powers that be in the corporate world respect my husband so much that they would give him a choice of locations.
.
Here's to hoping we're right about the location in the southeast!
May 17, 2006
Swirling Thoughts
I've been sitting on an unwritten post about the thoughts swirling in my head over the last week. I've found myself unable to express to you what's been going on - the constantly changing, ever-present drops of this rollercoaster.
.
I usually love rollercoasters. Can't get enough, usually. If the line is short, I'll jump right back on for second and third rides. This rollercoaster? I am definitely not liking so much.
.
I do not want to move. I love it here. I have made some really good friends through church and a family around the corner has become almost like family in a very short time. We even had Easter with them. I like the small town feel of our downtown, the beautiful parks, the lakes.... I like that we're seeing our families about twice a month or more. And that I'd made a recent commitment to help with Husband's grandparents to free up his mom a bit so she can take care of things at home with Dad.
.
So, when this whole job business came up, I felt thrown. I told Husband when we moved back to this area that I would not move out of it again. Being near our family is too high a priority, I said. I want our children to be close to their grandparents, I said. I want to help when we're needed and even when we're not needed, I said. And he agreed. And there remained in the backs of our minds that his company doesn't have another location nearby. And to move up in his career, Husband needs to go to a bigger, better location. And this thought has been tamped down repeatedly in the backs of our minds, since we didn't want to truly face the reality of his industry. At least not while things were going so well. And certainly not shortly after we got some discouraging news about his Dad's health.
.
And then, less than two weeks ago, a job came available in central Georgia. It's only 5 hours away and we knew it was time for a move up for Husband. And we knew if we waited until the company offered, we might not have an opportunity so close to home. So he called. And the boss of that location was interested, so Husband called his Boss. And Boss mentioned Baltimore. And we discussed it. And decided that central GA was a good decision for us. Lower cost of living meant we would buy a house right away. We have friends there, so it would be a smoother transition. With Atlanta only a couple hours away, we'd have lots of friends and a city we love close enough to visit. And most importantly for us, we were only going to be 5 hours away from our family.
.
So, we drove the five hours. He met with the potential-new boss. It went well. There was bad, but it was things we could live with. There was great - we had a nice relaxed dinner with Cara's family. The kids played, the adults chatted, the women drank wine.... It was lovely. As we hugged on our way out the door, tears sprang to my eyes at the thought of this becoming a regular event.
.
The next morning, he met again with the potential-new boss. They agreed on numbers and timing. It was all wrapped up with a pretty bow on top. We loaded back into the van for the five hour trip home. We talked about the town, we agreed it was an easy decision, we prayed and then we basked in the simplicity of it all.
.
And then he remembered to call Boss.
.
And then all hell broke loose.
.
We were thrown for a loop. Boss (a peer to the potential-new boss) explained why Baltimore is the better opportunity. Husband explained why central GA makes sense. And then he agreed to meet with the CEO and the VP and Boss in Baltimore to discuss this. And Boss threw some things on the table that make it a difficult decision. Things that greatly impact our future, at least as far as Husband's career. Things that are goals, but we never imagined them so closely attainable.
.
So, he flies out tonight. The meetings will be through the morning tomorrow. And he'll tell me over dinner tomorrow, in our current home that we love, what exactly they are offering to make this decision less painful for us.
.
And then, we will start planning the details of our move to Baltimore.
.
I will post something else about all the reasons I am excited, but I have laundry to do and a garage to clear out before noon.
.
God Bless you.
May 09, 2006
Rollercoaster... oo oo ooo!
I love my husband. It's a good thing, because I think we shall be moving again shortly.
.
Don't know for sure where, but we will know hopefully by the weekend.
.
And no, it won't be closer to our parents. Hopefully, 5 hours away and not 20 hours away.
.
I'll keep you posted.
May 01, 2006
4 Things and 6 Weird Things
I am not big on "meme"s. I enjoy reading them, but I rarely take the time to type out my own answers. However, I'm feeling like sharing some useless facts about myself and thought I'd just do it. Who knows, you might get a two-for-one (particularly since the swelling is WAY down in my shoulder and I'm finally typing with two hands again).
4 Things:
4 jobs I've had:
1. Arby's - my first job. I quit 4 times. They just kept asking me to stay for one. more. week.
2. Maintenance - at a state university. I loved this - carrying a tool belt and power tools while wearing my little sundresses. I learned a lot that summer - and had lots of propositions from fellow students and staff members. ;)
3. Database Developer - at a major insurance company. Loved working with different departments and with upper management. Ultimately, hated my job because I wanted to be with my daughter much more.
4. Crisis Mentor - at a pregnancy center. Love this, but not sure it qualifies as a "job" since I don't get paid. This is a volunteer position.
.
4 Movies I could watch over and over again:
1. Shawshank Redemption
2. Steel Magnolias
3. Crimson Tide
4. Pretty Woman
.
4 Places I have lived:
1. Fort Sill, Oklahoma
2. Portage Lakes, Ohio
3. Oldsmar, Florida
4. Sminings, Georgia
.
4 TV Shows I love:
1. ER
2. 7th Heaven
3. American Idol
4. Dancing with the Stars
.
4 Favorite Books:
.
4 Places I have Vacationed:
1. Emerald Isle, NC
2. London, UK
3. Las Vegas, NV
4. Paris, France
.
4 Websites I read everyday (or almost)
4. Check in on my blogroll
.
4 Favorite Foods
1. Greek Salad
2. French Onion Soup
3. Chicken Green Curry (from our favorite Thai place)
4. Salmon and Artichokes
.
I have 10 more minutes of slacker time, so I will give you 6 weird things about me:
.
1. I am a stereotypical housewife - I like T*pperware parties and P*mpered Ch*f parties and I'm even a slacker M*ry K*y Consultant.
.
2. I wake up in the middle of the night screaming and have no recollection in the morning.
.
3. I have a hard time falling asleep in bed, but seem to have no problems drifting off on the couch, at the computer, in the car.....
.
4. I can't stand cross-contamination. I'm actually OCD about this - Do NOT put the salsa spoon in the sour cream, or vice versa. Same goes for anything: peanut butter/jelly, especially. This is a crime. Ask my husband how it drives me bananas. I even get upset if there are toast crumbs in the margarine.
.
5. I'm having a hard time coming up with 6 weird things about myself - and I even called to ask for help.
.
6. I like to read trashy novels. Usually, the trashier the better. I just spent 2 days ignoring my family so I could read this. Sometimes the language was shocking, even to me, but it was a great escape. .
That's all folks...
.
Did you learn anything new or funny about me?
.
Take care and God Bless!
