September 15, 2004
Seems Like Whining
When I talk about my own stuff, it just seems like whining... But, this is my space and I am going to whine a little, even at the risk of turning some of you off.

A migraine yesterday? Though it is the worst I have had in probably years, complete with vomiting from the pain, I have to admit I have it pretty good in life.

Being unhappy about my weight and how I look? Well, damnit if I would get off my ass and away from this computer, and get some exercise I might have a fighting chance of making it to 30 with a decent opinion of how I look and feel.

Being totally overwhelmed with this teaching job? Well, again, if I would get away from the blogging, I would have a fighting chance of doing a half-way decent job with these students. I should be spending all my spare time learning about teaching rather than reading what everyone has to say today (or yesterday or the day before)... No, really... The teaching is harder than I thought it would be. I just don't get boys - they work different than girls do.

Freaking out that my husband is actually going to be moving to another state in like 10 days? Oh, what the hell can I do about that?! Nothing. Live with it. Pray these next few months fly by. What am I doing blogging when I should be preparing for my wonderful husband to return from work??? Damn, is there something wrong with me?

Frustrated that even though I volunteered, I have no idea how I am going to prepare for a moms group meeting for my church that is tomorrow... I offered to do 30 minute quickie makeovers for everyone. I have no idea how many women are coming!! What was I thinking? Should I bring products for them to buy? How am I going to get it all there??!?!

Why didn't I go to wal-*art to get the supplies for the art project for school tomorrow? When am I going to do it - in my sleep?

Yesterday, I held a baby girl who is 2 weeks old. Born the day my Gabriella might have been had she not left us too soon. But, wait, in the morning, when I first saw her with her mother in the hallway at school, I literally ducked into a darkened room to avoid them. When I saw that little baby, I seriously felt that a truck hit me right in the chest. What is my problem? I knew I would see this baby sooner or later and while I am happy for that family, I am surprised by my own childish reaction - come on, I hid in a dark room. After 4 hours, I was recovered enough to act like a civil human being and actually look at that sweet baby and the mom God bless her let me hold her even though I am obviously a raving lunatic.

I tell you, there is something wrong with me this week. I swear I am more overwhelmed than I have felt in a while and even though I know I have, like, a million things to do, I choose to sit here reading about everything else but what I should be doing.

I gotta get some help - do you think I should get back on my medication?
Posts written by humble servant
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