July 29, 2007
You Won't Believe This!!!
You may or may not know about the fabulous blog Five Minutes for Mom. You also may or may not know that over there, they have some pretty fantastic giveaways. Well, my friends, Best Buy has donated a flat screen TV as a prize - to be given away to one lucky commenter. .
So get yourself over there and throw your name in the pot. Or don't, so my odds are increased. No, really - get over there now! .
July 26, 2007
Anxiety
I try not to talk too much about too much personal on here. I'm aware this is a "public" domain and I would be horrified if someone read something that made them feel bad or like I was sharing information that was hurtful to them.
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So, for the most part, I have refrained from talking about my parental relationships. Or at least one in particular. My dad's second wife (who raised me and my brother for the second part of our childhood - actually, my brother was with them from his 8th year on) and I have a strained relationship - at best. I can't tell you why this has come to pass, for many years I thought we were close or at least marginally close - or comparibly so, anyway. Regardless, we aren't. We weren't. Ever. It was an illusion, apparently. And I've been very hurt by that realization.
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I have struggled for years, trying to determine the cause of the demise of our relationship and feeling terribly guilty, as my immediate family tends to lay the blame on me (I guess it's easy for them to, since I moved far away and all). I suppose it's easy to believe that someone is doing something intentionally when you're only hearing the other side of the story - and you're never faced with total reality.
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As a result of my strained relationship with my chronologically second mom, I have been unable to have a relationship with my "baby" brother. He is barely a teen right now and was a literal baby when our father died. I have struggled with a decision I made almost 4 years ago to protect myself from the pain inflicted on me by my mom's careless (intentional?) jabs. In making that decision, I severed my ties to her and essentially to her son, my brother, as well. It has been a terrible pain in my heart to be missing such a chunk of my family. After it'd been 3 years, this past Christmas, I sent my brother a gift and a card with a hearfelt message written inside. We have since had just a little bit of correspondence (mostly me sending emails and his responses are a few words after 6 weeks or so - but that's what happens with a 14 year old boy, I suppose.)
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When I went to visit my family a couple months ago, I tried to arrange a visit with my "baby" brother and it blew up in my face and in the faces of my (other, younger by 15 months) brother and his wife. It was an ugly scene, one I do not care to recreate, neither in words nor memory.
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The point of all this? I am headed again, next week, to visit family. I called yesterday, to try to arrange a visit with my "baby" brother and left a message. Today, I got a return call from my stepmother. It turns out we will be having lunch together at my (other) brother's house. I am nervous, yet excited. I can't wait to see my brother. Thinking about it now makes me weepy and sets loose butterflies in my stomach. I am anxious about a reunion with my stepmom - someone who hasn't exactly acted happy to see me for about the last 10+ years.
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I am actually looking forward to the visit with some hope that one day we will be reconciled and she will have peace in her heart. And ironically, it works out best for us that we get together on Thursday, which is the 13th anniversary of my Dad's death.
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May God be with me and with my brothers and our "mom", especially, on what could turn out to be a decent day. May I have the grace and maturity to say and do the right things and may my brother be open to getting to know me and my girls and joining the fold of my beautiful family.
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Thanks for listening, and I'd appreciate any prayers you might have to offer. And know that I am praying for you too.
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God Bless you.
July 24, 2007
Slumber Party: Faulty Terminology
5 girls.... lots of giggling, lots of chatting, pizza, a pillow fight, lots of squealing and screaming, an elaborate homemade tent on the deck, brownies, lots of giggling, fireworks! lots of squealing and screaming...
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a movie and cuddling, bedtime prayers, kisses, blessings... more chatting, lots of giggling... NO SLUMBERING.
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I've had to separate children, taking my own out of their own beds to avoid talking. I have a feeling if these girls don't go to sleep soon, I will be out of my mind tomorrow. I'm nearly out of it now. :) Tomorrow is a long day and it hasn't yet begun.
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But, oh how I love summer days - and friends - and giggling girls. Remind me later how much I've enjoyed hearing these girls laugh this evening. Especially if I don't get any sleep tonight. ;)
July 19, 2007
New Music: Monk & Neagle
I know I don't talk about the music I like much or do any product reviews, but BooMama has been talking about this group for a while and I actually was able to get there in time for a free cd giveaway. .
You can listen to Monk & Neagle's music on the site and I like that it is cool music, and it's about Jesus! - with a funky and unexpected beat. I foresee many happy listening hours in the future, complete with full-on singin' along. .
Thank you, Boomama, for the introduction to this groovy worship band. .
And those of you who like to fill your ears with worship-y goodness, go check out Monk & Neagle. You won't be sorry.
July 18, 2007
Okay, I lied - again.
I never came back here before my vacation.... I haven't posted any further updates..... I have a few posts in the draft phase, but I haven't finished or published any of them...... But, I'm here. I've gotten emails and comments asking where I am and am I okay. We had a fantabulous vacation in the Outer Banks. We rented a house via Joe Lamb, actually two houses. It was absolutely wonderful.
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We've been busy with summer things - going swimming with friends, barbecues, etc. and this week, the girls have VBS. I was really looking forward to some time alone (15 hours of daylight - in one week! all alone!), but am sorry to say that my little Bookworm has been ill. She has been more upset about missing two days of VBS than the fact that she has tossed her cookies no less than 22 times in 2 days, most of them during the wee hours before the sun has come up. She hasn't had much sleep the past two nights and last night I rebelled and told Husband that he needed to tend to her or I would be a useless lump today. He was wonderful and took care of her and they both migrated downstairs to the couches so Silly Sally and I could sleep.
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The most wonderful thing about Bookworm being sick is how special she has felt each day when we've picked up her sister from the church/school. Yesterday, one of Bookworm's VBS classmates colored her a picture and made a get well greeting out of it. Today, the kids in her class made her craft for her (a prayer bear, along with it's buddy bear that will be sent to an orphanage in Tanzania). She knew the arts & crafts teacher was setting aside the bears for her to complete when she was well, but was touched that her class wanted to make the bears for her. Her response: "I can't believe how generous my class is! First the get well picture from so-and-so and today, the bear!" Her sister responded "You must be the best student in the class for them to care so much!"
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We're great. Really great. The girls are staying the night with friends on Friday and Husband and I are taking a drive here to see these guys! I have no idea what kind of seats we have, but we can't wait!
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I have taken a break from my cleaning of the "school room" to put up this (not so) brief post, so I better get back to work.
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Until next time, God Bless You!
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By the way, I'm down about 25 pounds so far. Yippee!
