November 07, 2004
Fat and Disgusted
That's me. Disgusted. and Fat.

Remember in my last post, I talked about buying some new clothes? Well, it makes me disgusted to even think why it was necessary. But it is time to stop hiding about it and do something about it. I am not going to go into great details about exactly how much I weigh and all that, but damn, I am so disgusted with myself. I have been scrapping pictures from when we went to Disney back in September and I have to say - damn! yuck! It doesn't even look like me, bloated and fat.... Ugh.

So, I am doing something about it. Silly, what I have decided, but I have learned from my past attempts at weight loss that I have NO willpower past day 2. Therefore, I am doing a
slim-fast plan. Why? because their website tells you what you can eat. And I can track every single damn thing that goes in my mouth. I am committed. Why? Because I was relieved that the picture Becca took of me turned out the way it did. Because when I look at the pictures of me and Cara and our kids at the Creative Discovery Museum, I cringe at myself. Because if I don't do something drastic now, I am going to have a heart attack in my 30s and they are just around the corner...

So there. You all know. I am on a mission. I am going to lose serious weight (the kind of weight that you need surgery afterward because of so much loose skin). And dammit, I need your support - cuz lord knows, Adam will have chocolate cake waiting when I see him again (as a reward for me driving all that way? I don't know why he encourages me and insists on sharing high fat sin with me...) and I need you all to cheer me on when I say "No, thank you. I am working on a healthier me and I have decided I can have chocolate cake in 25 pounds and then not again until 25 pounds after that and 25 pounds after that..."

Had to get that off my fat ass, er my chest. I thank you in advance for your support and encouragement. Do you think I should be posting before and after pictures??? should I post a before picture and risk really feeling awful about myself, when all my blog friends (and a few IRL friends) see just how awful I look now? Or should I wait til the middle or end of my journey??? Does anyone know if it is psychologically beneficial to post pics now?

God Love You.
Posts written by humble servant
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