So, I wait on pins and needles. I suppose this is pretty normal when a family is potentially in the process of adopting. But for me, it is an awkward place to be. I find myself not praying for what I want, but for what God's will is in this entire situation.
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The birthmother hasn't contacted us yet, but our mutual friend told me that there are a multitude of crazy things happening this week in their lives, including a terrible car crash - thank God noone was hurt.
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I've been feeling a bit like I've had a positive pregnancy test. For me, I hope for the opportunity of an eventual baby, but a plus sign on the stick rarely leads to diapers and coos for us. It's merely a possibility.
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I've been praying fervently for the birthmother and her family, especially the precious baby in her womb. I pray that she finds the peace and knowledge she seeks, the strength to do whatever is right, whatever is God's will. I pray that she can forgive herself for her mistakes, that she and her husband can heal their marriage, that their family would heal and remain intact, stronger than ever. I pray that she obtains all the forgiveness she needs, the perserverence to weather this storm and the faith to help her through.
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I don't know what will happen, but I do know that whether I become the mom of this baby, she will forever have a place in my heart, even though I've only known of her existence for 3 days. And while I do hope, in a very selfish way, that we will welcome this baby girl into our family this fall, I am willing to accept the Lord's will and continue to pray for these precious children of God.
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In the meantime, I'm hitting refresh on my email every 15 minutes. I just hope to get a message soon.
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Please pray for Rita.
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*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the birthmother and her family.
