Well, I know things sounded bad last week... And they were. Things still aren't all roses and sunshine, but at least I have my head on straight. Daily medication seems to be helping (along with therapy and awareness of all the stress). I appreciate everyone's prayers and happy thoughts - and most of all the encouragement.
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For anyone who has dealt with depression, you know what it is like when you are feeling completely worthless. You know how every little thing can make you feel even less worthy of love and whatever. So, it was super cool of all of you to say such nice things about me - it helped my messed up brain remember that "hey, I'm not so bad!" And while it doesn't make it all go away, it helps get me back on track.
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_________ORLANDO BREAK______________________
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As I said mid-week, we headed to Orlando for a couple days. My friend from Atlanta, L, flew in Wednesday with her son. They rented an SUV and since I spent the first part of the week having a meltdown, it was nice that she was willing to meet the girls and me at the hotel and save us an extra hour+ of driving to the airport. That evening, we drove into the downtown area to visit with some of her friends. It was nice to meet them since I had spoken to the wife/mom on the phone a couple months ago. It was wonderful to see their spectacular baby boy, who was born in June with a severe heart defect and some other issues, thriving and doing great at home. And their other son was so gracious to let three other kids come into his house and play with his toys. A nice evening had by all.
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Thursday, we had a wonderful time at Magic Kingdom. I really appreciate that our friend gives us tickets, we could never afford to go otherwise. We really didn't make it out of Fantasyland and Tomorrowland, as that is where the bulk of the young child-friendly rides are. There were a few moments in the morning where I was pretty sure I was headed for an emotional meltdown (last September, we missed the Cinderella show outside the castle - and they only had one show that day. V wanted to only do 2 things this time and one was the show. When we arrived, we realized the show had already started, so V and I started running (not pretty) as fast as possible down Main St. When we got to the statue (of Walt?) in front of the castle, we realized it was the end of the show. I started crying, completely defeated that I had not fulfilled my little girl's wish. Thankfully, I had sunglasses on and she didn't see my tears, but when she looked up at me with fat tears welling in her eyes, I just bent to hug and hold her and say how sorry I was. Just then I glimpsed the sign that said there were several more shows that day and I promised her we would be back in an hour for the show. We went and did a few things and as we were standing right in front for the start of the next show, the Fairy Godmother came out and started her introduction and then it started raining, so that show was cancelled. Oh. my. gawd. You have not felt pain in your heart until you see your child completely heartbroken after two missed Cinderella shows in one morning. THANK GOODNESS the next show had no rain and while it was definitely challenging trying to hold up both girls to see the stage, it was so worth it by the smiles on their faces.)
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We had a nice time, we rode almost every kid-friendly ride, including Dumbo, Peter Pan, Snow White's Scary Adventure (the girls didn't cry this time!), the train around the park, Buzz Lightyear, and many more. You can see a couple pictures here.
A came up after work and met us at the hotel. We had a fantastic dinner at the buffet and the server was nice enough to charge us as two adults with 4 children instead of 3 adults and 3 children (a price difference of $20+!). A had asked the hostess if he ate only off the kids' buffet would he be charged as a kid (free at Holiday Inns). The server was standing there when he joked about it and she ended up doing just that, though he DID eat off the adult buffet. After dinner, we changed into our suits and headed out to the cool pool. It was so nice to float around with the kids and A and I found some time to sit in the shallow water and just chat, which was so nice since we hadn't in more than a week. Just helped us feel reconnected a bit more.
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Friday morning, he surprised the girls and me by announcing that he would not be going to work that day. He took ALL THREE kids to the pool, while L and I packed up the room and the original plan was she wanted to hit the outlet malls. We decided instead to take advantage of the beautiful weather and meet A and the kids at the pool. But, we did load up the cars and make a run to the drugstore for her to pick up a couple things. She was generous and paid for both nights at the hotel (at an employee rate!) and said it was because I got her tickets for Magic Kingdom. Since we are a bit tight right now, I didn't really want to argue. :) After lunch and a bit in the pool again, we decided to head home.
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The evening was a little busy with L and I going to pick up the stuff for V's birthday party and ordering sandwiches too. After about an hour and half in and out of a few stores, we came home where I whipped up dinner and we just chilled out and had some wine before putting together the bags for the party and heading to early bed.
