You know, I don't ever get into the argument about SAHM vs. WOHM. I guess because I figure people have to do what's best for their families. And it is ALL sacrificial in one way or another.
But I am incredibly blessed to have a husband who earns enough to allow me to be home with our children every day. Even if it drives me batty at times. We wouldn't have it any other way. We know that the very best place for me to be is with our girls - and they with me.
There are other advantages as well, to staying home. For instance, when Pop died, there was no thought about where I would spend the following days. Sure, I made arrangements for others to care for our girls during those days, but I didn't have to ask for permission to take 5 days to be with my mom.
When A had a business trip to Atlanta, I didn't have to ask for time off from my employer, we just packed up and went with him. :) When we plan our vacation road trip to see friends and family at the end of this summer, the only question will be how much time A can take off and at what point in the trip will he fly to meet the girls and me. And even though he might not be able to enjoy every part of the trip with us, he'll meet us for the most interesting parts for him. :)
It also means that when my mom has a bad night (as she did last night), I can load up the girls and spend the day with her when she calls off work. (I just got a phone call, she's changed her mind and doesn't want us to come - she's going to take a nap). But, my point is, I can do those things. Without asking for permission and without too much disruption to my daily schedule. Because the things I have to do can be put off, mostly.
It means that when my kids want to go to storytime at the library, I can schedule that into our day. It means that we go to the park a couple times per week. It means that we can plan weekly visits to the local zoo, now that summer is approaching and our many friends in the area also have annual passes at the zoo - and it is a good meeting spot, since I don't exactly live around the corner from anyone I know.
It means that when there aren't good schooling options between the public and private schools in the area, I can simply make the decision to school my daughter at home. And it also means that I can keep her with me for at least one more year before sending her to be with others who will influence her behavior and her sensitive character.
It means that if I'm having a particularly bad hormonal day, I can take a nap when Little A does. And that V is quite happy to read books or play her reading games on the computer while I rest.
Sure, staying home also means that I get lonely at times - that I need a break from my children during times that would otherwise be spent as a family. It means that there are times I just feel like I need to escape this 24/7 neverending responsibility. It means that I don't spend enough time taking care of myself, opting instead to focus on others. But that is a-changing. My 30th birthday is quickly approaching and I swear I am going to feel better physically in my 30s than I felt during my 20s. Not that there weren't highlights in my 20s, but overall, my physical health has gone down the tubes. And that is changing - and being home with my girls all day makes that difficult, but how would I do it if I went to work every day and then had the responsibilities of mother/wifehood in the evenings? I guess then I would have a lunch break on my own and maybe could go for a walk or something then.... But, really would I?
My point is that I am happy staying home and caring for my family. I have no desires to have a job to take me away each day. I love the flexibility of our schedule and that we are planning lots of fun activities for the summer. I love being the one who cares for our children and that as they grow, they will know that the most important thing for our family during this time in our lives was for me to be with them.
My mom tells her friends and co-workers that I have a stereotypical 50's family. Mom stays home and bakes and Dad goes to work to provide. Mom's job is to keep house and feed the family. The girls run to the door shouting each day when Dad arrives after his work day - throwing themselves into his arms, yelling "Daddy, you're HOME!" And then they go off together to play and occupy the time until Mom has dinner on the table. I don't cook every day or bake even once a week, but our family roles are perfect for us for now.
I hope you find peace and joy in your role within your family. Even if you don't have exactly the role you wish for, know that your children know you love them and are doing what you can to provide the best life for them.
