Our homeschool group participates in a monthly Children's Adoration and Holy Half Hour. It was this morning - and it happens to be my single favorite half hour block of time in the entire month. Usually, a class from the parish school joins us for this special time before the Lord. Today, it was a tiny group, but no less powerful.
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Our pastor (or associate pastor) gives a short teaching on Jesus to the kids (and adults), a musician leads us in a few songs and we have quiet prayer time in front of Jesus on the altar.
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Yesterday, I felt overwhelmed at the prospect of this really happening - that we are going to have three more children, not in 6 weeks as we'd planned. In two weeks, we will drive about a thousand miles home with 5 children in the back of our van. And I was starting to freak out at this reality. It isn't that I don't love these children (they're practically family), but that they have been through so much and I want to do the best thing for them. On the one hand, the steadiness and security and outpouring of love in our family is clear and far more than they've experienced in recent months/years. On the other hand, where they are now, they at least get to see their parents on weekends. Obviously, the trade-off is immense.
Yesterday, I felt overwhelmed at the prospect of this really happening - that we are going to have three more children, not in 6 weeks as we'd planned. In two weeks, we will drive about a thousand miles home with 5 children in the back of our van. And I was starting to freak out at this reality. It isn't that I don't love these children (they're practically family), but that they have been through so much and I want to do the best thing for them. On the one hand, the steadiness and security and outpouring of love in our family is clear and far more than they've experienced in recent months/years. On the other hand, where they are now, they at least get to see their parents on weekends. Obviously, the trade-off is immense.
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Will two months with our family help to ease their suffering in any way? Will this time help them to see God's mercy and love for them? Can we make much of a difference in such a short time? And if not us, than can God use our time with them for their good and growth in Him? Are our own children going to be okay through all of this? Will they thrive in spite of less attention from their parents? Will our marriage withstand well the stress of suddenly taking on three additional children, even for a few months? Of course, I don't know the answers to those questions, but I have to believe that His answer is "Yes!"
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This morning, I was overwhelmed by the love and mercy that poured over me during this time of praise and thanksgiving. I prayed yesterday that God would give us everything we need this summer as we temporarily grow our family by 3 more children. That He would provide all the patience and grace I need to care for them, that He would give Husband all he needs to support a family of seven in material and spiritual ways.
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I might not have the patience now for 5 children 24/7, but I don't need that patience today. But this morning reminded me - God will give me what I need in the next 14 days and all the days that come afterward. His will is that we follow Him and do His work. And there is nothing we can do but say, "Here I am, Lord! Send me!"
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If you are so inclined, please keep our family and our friends in your prayers, especially this summer. And until next time, God Bless you!
