Every which way I turn, there is talk of or evidence of babies. My world is being inundated by the mention and presence of these miracles, these wonders, these gifts from God. You'd think people were obsessed. Well, can you imagine how this makes me feel? In my hyper-sensitive, PPD plagued mind, this is a bizarre time. I feel great joy. But it makes me cry.
You see, I am excited for my friends who are expecting their first baby. I am equally excited for those of my friends expecting their third or TTC their second.
One of A's closest friends is expecting his first child at 40 years old. His wife, this is also her first child, is 38. At 10 weeks along, she's been to the ER and dr.'s office no less than 6 times. They are in for a long journey if she doesn't just relax a little. I love 'em, but she's a bit high-strung about the pregnancy. It's almost as if she doesn't trust the drs. I hope I can help her understand that not every twinge in pregnancy is a bad thing - that she will have a million aches and pains and they all usually mean the baby is growing just fine.
I have a girlfriend that is nearly my twin (right down to the fact we grew up in NE OH before heading south on our own where we've really established our lives, we have the same hobbies, neither one of us can shut up...) and she and her husband are TTC a sibling for their cute little boy. I pray their dreams come true and especially for her health and the baby's health in the event she conceives (she had a multitude of health issues with her first pregnancy which led to N being born 2 full months early).
I have another girlfriend that lost her third pregnancy at the beginning of her 9th week, and yet another who just announced her pregnancy - oddly, these two quite probably conceived the SAME DAY. While I mourn with the one who lost her pregnancy (she's hoping to conceive again this cycle - the docs told her to go ahead!), I also rejoice with Nino for her beautiful third child.
And we have yet more friends, expecting their first after a loss in October last year - they conceived again in November and all is well.
Oh, and let's not forget about all the other references - my best friend here in FL talking about having her 4th - yes, FOURTH. No, they are not pregnant, but she longs for it. Sandi's desire to be the mommy of a girl... and Kelly's too.... Then there's Cara who is DONE :) .... And Jen_Jake'sMom and Sue who long to give their sons a sibling... And Julia who has been through so much but just announced that the IVF has worked so far!
Oh, gosh, I almost overlooked Kate and her darling Brody! How can we all not long for a babe of our own when she posts those pics nearly every day. How precious! And of course, beautiful little Rachie - how beautiful and sweet she is and growing and toddling.... And we all want that again. And again. And again, in some cases.
I am certain I am forgetting someone. If you feel slighted, I am sorry. I do not mean to leave anyone out.
But, where does this leave me? Gosh, I think I would love another baby. I don't think I am emotionally equipped right now to care for one, though. And I don't know if another one is in God's plan for us. You see, we feel it is incredibly important to pray and discern before making major decisions - like adding another person to our family. And well, we've both been given the message through prayer that we already have had our three children. That is enough for us for now. But it doesn't stop the "what ifs"... It doesn't cease the longing or the coveting. (Gotta get to confession for that one). We are young, so we have plenty of time for God to open that door to us, if it is His will. And for some reason, I know that even if we don't have another biological child of our own, I will likely one day adopt or foster.
Anyway, I just felt like talking about this - because well, because everyone else is talking about it and I just had to add my two cents.....
I am so excited for those of my friends who are adding to their families. I am praying for those who've had difficulty and praying for those who are pregnant that they don't run into difficulty or sadness in this process of helping God with a miracle.
I love you all and pray your dreams are fulfilled and that you find peace and happiness in God's plan for you and your families.
Until next time, God be with you.
